


Drowning

by Speary



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 14x11, Angst, Coda, Episode: s14e11 Damaged Goods, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-26
Updated: 2019-01-26
Packaged: 2019-10-17 05:53:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17554637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Speary/pseuds/Speary
Summary: Dean faces Cas after deciding to sacrifice himself to save the world from Michael.A coda for 14x11 Damaged Goods





	Drowning

The door slammed hard as Cas entered his room. Dean had expected it. Everyone was upset. No one was accepting it, not even Sam, despite the fact that he agreed to the plan. Now here was Cas, staring him down with all the anger and fire in his eyes, that Dean never wanted to face.

“Say something!” Cas shouted.

Dean stood there, fighting for something to say. Finding nothing, he just threw out his arms in a half shrug. It was giving up. He knew this had to happen. They all knew that this was the only way.

Cas stepped into his space. He grabbed Dean by the shoulders, shook him, then, crumbling a little, he pulled Dean into his arms. “You stupid, selfless, stupid man,” Cas’ words rattled into the space at Dean’s neck.

Dean didn’t know what to do. His arms moved of their own volition, and he was hugging Cas right back. Everyone should have gone along with the plan to just leave from Donna’s place, haul him and the coffin to the nearest dock. Less people to see hurting, but no they just couldn’t do that apparently.

“Cas,” Dean said, that one word just too shaky to be more than his name.

“There has to be another way. I don’t accept it.” Cas’ whole body was shaking now, and Dean was trying to soothe him, rubbing small circles into his back.

Dean pulled back and looked at him. Cas' face was streaked in tears. His eyes were a wreck of red, puffy sorrow. “Sam showed you the book. You know.”

“I know we write our own endings.” There was desperation in the tone that made Dean look away.

“Billie told me there’s two endings, this one and the one where the world burns. I ain’t more important than the world, Cas.”

“But you are. To me, you are.” He gripped Dean’s arms in his hands and said, “Please.”

“Cas, we don’t sacrifice the world for one man.” He sucked in a deep breath and held onto it for a second before letting go. “It’ll be okay. I’ll be a hero. It’s what I’m supposed to be.”

“It is far from okay. You’ll be at the bottom of the sea, forever. You won’t age or die. You’ll just be there, trapped with Michael in your head. I can’t...” Cas slammed his arm out wildly, knocking over a lamp and several books.

Dean took a step back at first, then moved into Cas’ space. This time he pulled Cas to his chest and held him. “At least this time it wasn't me breaking the lamps.”

Cas’ arms were pressed to Dean’s chest. He was shaking again. “I love you, Dean. I can’t be in this world without you in it.”

Dean pushed past the revelation. It wasn’t exactly news, but it had been unspoken. Instead he focused on another obvious truth. “I was going to die eventually. You were going to have to figure it out at some point.” Cas sobbed. Dean felt the weight of his words, the coldness of them. He endeavored to fix them. “I wouldn’t be anything good if I didn’t do this, Cas. If I let the people I love, if I let you burn up with the world because I was selfish, what would that say about me? I love you too. I can’t do that. I can’t let everyone I love die. It’s the only way.”

The silence dragged out. He’d drowned before in the dream world that Michael made for him. Who could have known how prophetic it all would be. Cas leaned back. “I’m going with you then.”

“No.”

“Yes, I’m going. We go down together, or you don’t go at all. I watched you march off to your death way too many times. I’m not watching it again. I’m going with you.”

“You can’t. Jack needs you. Sam will need you too. You can’t make them lose both of us.”

“They have each other.” Cas kissed Dean’s forehead. He dragged his shaking fingers back into his Dean’s hair. “I’ll give you dreams. I’ll make worlds for your mind to live in. An eternity, Dean. You can’t. You need me.”

“I’ve always needed you.” Dean kissed him back, feather light on his cheek. They stood together in the dark, clutching each other like it might be the end or like it might be the way it would be forever soon enough.

**Author's Note:**

> As always thank you for any kudos you feel like leaving and any kind words. You can also find me on Tumblr under the name [Spearywritesstuff](http://spearywritesstuff.tumblr.com/) or more often on Twitter under the name [Spearywrites](https://twitter.com/spearywrites)


End file.
